I Fall Short Daily
My life for the most part has been pretty amazing. I have had the privilege of doing some amazing things as well as working and spending my time with some amazing people. The one thing in the end is that I fall short. I do that on the daily.
Some days, it’s just forgetting a small item. Other days, it’s in halfway to work and I leave something important at homes. At times, I open mouth, insert foot. Believe me, I strive for perfection, but I at times, fall short and step into a really dark hole.
In recent time, I have fallen really short. In caring too much, I betrayed the trust of a very close friend to me. It has boiled on both sides and we are not speaking. To say it sucks would be an understatement. In my mind, I feel that one small thing would have prevented much of this, but that is in my mind. I am not God, I cannot say that i know that would happen.
Romans 3:23 says that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” I know i certainly fall short in a lot of things.
I will tell you the last week has been difficult. I made mistakes that I regret. I started out upset, moved to slightly pissed off, and some how ended up in a situation where we practically are communicating by proxy. I admit I blocked a person from reaching me. There is a good explanation for that.
Without going into details on the situation, I am not typically a person who gets Uber pissed, mad, etc. Before this past week, I have never been truly angry at this person. I have also said to myself that I never want this person to ever see the bitterest side of me. I was so bitter about things, that in my best interest, I did what I did. I’m not saying it was right or wrong, I am saying that to me, I feel that this person seeing the dark, dark side of me would never be a good thing.
To say I have had my eyes opened this past week would be an understatement. I don’t know what to think here. I don’t know how to say I’m sorry the way it needs to be said from my end. Maybe I let my heart get too far in the way.
What I truly know Is deep down, my heart and opinion hasn’t changed. I still love this person to death and feel they are the most amazing person in the world. Someone asked me a while back if I had feelings involved with some of my actions and decisions. I totally had blinders on and didn’t realize it. I held out hope thinking maybe. She knew it also.
The Christmas, I pray to God for a miracle. I pray for forgiveness. I pray for restoration. I pray to be a better man. I pray for wisdom. I pray for healing.
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas time with friends and family. I probably won’t be hearing from many of my friends because I will be going dark. Only a few people will reach me. I am taking the time to reflect on things. I truly need to take some me time. God Bless and see you on the other side.
